The Monster That’s Called Me

Everyday when I go to school, I hear all these girls and boys complaining about their life and family.

“My dad wouldn’t buy me the latest iphone!”

“Mom didn’t let me get those cute designer jeans!”

When you ramble on and on to me about how your parents don’t love you because they didn’t buy you those $5000 jeans and I’m sitting next to you in 3 years old Target jean, an old hand down hoodie, converse that have holes in them, I’m crying inside but don’t jump to conclusion. It’s not because of your money and clothes that I envy. It’s the family, friends, and life that you have but don’t even appreciate. All my life, I don’t care about the clothes I wear or the newest phone(even though it’s nice to have them). I was naive and gullible back than and I still am sometimes. I thought everyone was true to me and love me. I gave everything away. Gave them my trust, my heart, my money. And what did I get in return? I got stabbed in the back. Being betrayed hurts. It hurts when the person you loved and trusted backstabbed you and threw you away after knowing that they can’t use you anymore like a used tissue. My “father”, my “friends”, my “family”. That’s why now I’m so different from that little naive girl back than. My nice caring laid-back personalty is just an act. Inside, I am a scared girl who uses everyone before they can use me. Even though I tell myself that I already know they’re just using me and that I shouldn’t even care about what they say, but it really hurts when they say it outloud or show it. So why are you so selfish? Why did you use me? But thanks to you people I got stronger. My heart is now harder to enter, keeping out the people I don’t want. Almost every insult you people throw at me rebound and makes me laugh at your stupidity. So to my friends and family who are reading this, you just discover to real me and how I turn into this monster. Will you continue to try to penerate the monster that’s called me or would you just used me like what happened to me before? Please choose fast though. I don’t want to waste my time on people who are just backstabbers. <3

                                                                                   -Chestire